Expiry date

Wife - " Honey , What are You Looking for ? "
Husband - "Nothing."
Wife - " Nothing.? U've been reading our marriage certificate for an
hour ? "
Husband - "I was just looking 4 the expiry date. "

Report card

Father to son after exam - "let me see your report card."
Son - "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

The modern art

Sardar at an Art Gallery - " I suppose this horrible
looking thing is what you call modern art ?"
Art dealer - " I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror! "

The postman

Postman - "I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet "
Sardar - "why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it"

Sardar's wish

Sardar's wish - " i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died
peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the
passengers in the car he was driving.. "

Niagara Falls

Guide - "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
Falls?"

Girl friend

Santa - "What is a girl friend?"
Banta - " Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends."

Slow writing

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked -" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar - "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast. "

Sharing worries

Girlfriend - " When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and lighten your burden."
Boyfriend - " It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. "
Girlfriend - " Well that is because we aren't married yet."

The biggest problem

Wife- " You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? "
Husband - " When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. "
Wife - " You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? "
Husband - " Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?"

Checking the list

Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

Nine out of ten

Patient - " What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor - "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died. "

Future tense

Teacher - "I killed a person, convert this sentence into future tense"
Sardar Student - "You will go to jail"

The judge and the accused

Judge - "The last time i punished you, i told you that i didnt want to see you here again"
Accused - "Thats exactly what i tried to tell these policemen, but they did not believe me!"

Workless job

The Manager - "Sorry! We cant give you a job. We dont have any work"
Tha Applicant - "Then i am the right person for the company. I wont ask you for any work"

The old statue

The Angry Museum Administrator - "That's a 100 years old statue, you have just broken"
Lalu - "Thank God! I was worried thinking that it's a new one"

Night club

Santa asked - "Why do you take your wife only to night clubs?"
Banta replied - "Beacuse, everything else gets closed by the time she gets ready"

Distantly related

First Sardar - "Hey! I have heard that the family next door is distantly related to you.
Is this true?"
Second Sardar - "Yes their dog is our dog's cousin"

The mountaineer's son

"Hey your son just threw a pebble at me!" - The tourist said to the mountaineer.
"Did it hit you?" - The mountaineer asked.
"No" - The tourist replied.
The mountaineer said - "Then it was somebody else, not my son"

Mother-tounge

The son asked his father - "why the language we speak, is called our mother tounge?"
"Because fathers rarely get a chance to speak!" - The father replied.